All I Need is 10 Hours and Prayer

Well, after a month and a half of being at home I am taking on a project for the company I worked for. It only is about 10 hours a week and mainly takes place every quarter or so. I was thrilled to get the call because it allows me to do something that I enjoy, keeps me slightly invloved in the work force and will bring in a little extra income for more house updating and stuff like that.

The Meeks family could really use your prayers for some health issues. Jeremy has struggled over the past month with some health concerns that dont need to be detailed on our blog, but tommorrow he goes to a specialist that we have waited a month to get into. We hope that it is nothing big and just what the doctor thinks it is. I know both of us try not to think the worst, but sometimes our brains wander and we cant help it. Keep Jeremy in your prayers as he is nervous about the test and the results.

Since I have been at home more, I have found that my brain has more time to wander. Maybe it is being a woman, or all the bad things that you see on T.V. or the sadness you see in daily life but I am having a hard time sleeping at all. I get about three to four hours a night and that is dream or nightmare filled. It isnt easy on me and I know the tossing and turning is hard on J. I have taken some sleeping pills but that make it hard to function the next day because I feel drugged and still I dream all night long. This has been about four weeks now and I am just ready for relief but have no answer. I pray and talk to J about it but nothing seems to help slow my brain or my body. No matter how tired I am at the end of the day when I lay down it is like my eyes are glued open. It just sucks!

There is not a whole lot of news with Chloe. She enjoys wearing pig tails, eating "naaaacksss", saying the word "nanee" (nasty) when I change her diapers,talking on the phone, reading books, playing with "Laally" (Lilly) running to daddy when he gets home from work, unloading the pan drawers in the kitchen, the movie Singing in the Rain and being at home with mommy.
She does not like napping, although that is getting better, mushrooms, daddy leaving for work, being strapped in her car seat. She was able to get the straps off her shoulders which she liked but after watching the video of Kyle David Miller mommy put a fix on that problem. Her hat she has to wear when it is cold, or naptime...did I mention that already.

Well I better post a few pictures to keep all three of you happy. :) Chloe wants her boyfriends to know she appreciated all the comments on her last blog, she gets more that I do. Now off to get some of the 10 hours of work done! :)

Chloes Post

Hi everyone, Chloe here. I was reading mom's post and thought they were boring so mom told me that I could post this blog because I have such a cute personality right now. I always have plenty to say to mom and make her laugh all the time. Mommy tells me that I have gotten so big, to fast. I dont know what that means. I like being big and I can do pretty much anything all by myself, even though my mom doesnt think that I can and always tries to help me. Last week I got to play twice with some friends. First was my friend Ethan.We had so much. Mommy and Daddy went to eat with his mommy and daddy and we got to eat mac and cheese one of my favorites and play with Ethan's new Christmas toys...a John Deere Tractor and his Elmo workbench. I really liked to look through those safety goggles. Then mommy and daddy were playing a game and so Ethan and I got to play with dominos. It was fun putting them in and out of the box. It was ALOT of fun and I cant wait to play with him again. Then last night it was really really cold in Abilene and we had been inside all day and were all really bored so we decided to go eat with my other friend Casen at my favorite place Wingstop, then he came to play with me at my house. First we played with the Learn and Groove and then Casen pushed me around on Mater the Tow Truck. It seems like I only have boyfriends, but none of mommy and daddies friends have little girls for me to play with but its ok because I love all my boy friends.
I really like mommy being at home and we have alot of fun...except at naptime. She keeps trying to make me sleep in my room, but she has a much nicer bed and I only like to nap in her room so sometimes I have to remind her that I am boss. She doesnt like that very much but I am getting her under control. Well I thought I would have mommy post some pictures of me and my friends. And for those friends I havent met yet that mommy talks about come and visit, like, Hudson! Hope everyone has a great week and hopefully the ice will melt outside so we can go out in play with out my big jacket and hat on. And yes...that is how I smile...:)

Just Another Update...With Pictures!

Wow how life has changed over the past month. It has been one month exactly since my last day at "work" and things seem still so surreal and different to me. As I sit here typing this I no longer hear the hustle and bustle of the sales floor, now I hear my 17 month old saying "mine" as if to explain to me that the computer keybored is hers. I have gone from suits, hose and heels to sweats, jeans and tenny (thats for you Summer) shoes. My cell phone that used to ring constantly with inventory or sales now only rings about once a day when I am out of the house and J is looking for me. The only inventory I am concerned with is that of our refrigerator and for the first time ever I ventured to Wal -Mart during the middle of the week this week. FYI: Monday at 9:30 am is the time to go to Wal-Mart. I have heard a myriad of opinions on "the way I seem to be now" Old co workers have told me I dont seem happy, true friends tell me I have a glow and my husband says I seem to have a peace about me. God tells me that beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am happy, at peace and believe that I am doing the most important job out there. I realized about 6 months ago that nothing I was doing would matter if in 3 years I looked up and my child didnt know me, my husband and I never communicated, and all I had to show for it was more money. I know, for me, that God put that there for a reason. He doesnt do that for everyone, because this isnt always the right choice for everyone, but it was for me. We have adjusted to the daily routines, Chloe is finally back to napping good and sleeping well at night and God has answered my biggest concern: Contentment. It isnt always easy to stay busy at this stage in the game, but the house is spotless, the laundry is done and there is always a meal on the table. Life at the Meeks house is going pretty well. She woke up this morning with a croupe cough and all I kept thinking was, "I am glad she doesnt have to go anywhere today" It is a wonderful feeling to not feel rushed. J pointed out last night that she is ok with him leaving for work and that she never was with me and that she is listening better. Her daycare did a wonderful job and the reality is that one day I will have to send her out into the big world of kindergarten, but for now she is able to be at home with me and learn from me...hopefully I am setting the right example. I am posting a few of my favorite pics from Hawaii finally and I hope you enjoy them...notice the one where she wont put her feet in the sand, it was so funny. She never did warm up to sand! Just like her mom!

A Peace That Passes ALL Understanding...

I have to keep reminding myself that this is what God promises to give us as His children. Do you think He worries like Mommies do? I am convinced that because I worked in the beginning and never got to fully enjoy all the wonderful things about motherhood that I also prohibited myself from feeling some of the strongest feelings of fear and anxiety ever...let me explain. Last night it is 1:30 in the morning and I am laying there awake thinking and thinking and thinking. My brain wont rest and my chest is tight from being so anxious. I dont know what it is I can handle a high pressure job in the "real world" but this motherhood thing throws me completely for a loop. I worry constantly that she will get hurt, or what would I do if something EVER happened to her, or when I hear stories about the woman who let her child accidentally wander on to the highway, I think how easily she opened the back door and let the dogs in yesterday. I used to interview people at my old job and I would ask them how they thought they would handle the "stress and pressure" of sales as well as the fast paced work day. Then I would begin to describe some of the duties and details of the job. If you were to ask me those same questions about motherhood I dont know how I would answer. I constantly look at the budget. I dont want to spend ANY money because now that I am not working you know that a car will break down or I will go to the hospital or something bizzare like the AC will stop working at our house will happen. This new job as caused me to be a worrier. I am anxious and all I can do is pray...everyday...pray that God continues to give me peace, bless J's business, bless our finances, protect my angel with His angels, and try to remember that if He cares so much for the sparrow that surley He cares this much for me. Working moms have it hard, no doubt, there is stress and a business that I cant describe. But a stay at home mommy has it hard to because she worries about her job that she puts her heart into everyday. She worries about that little person that she is supposed to teach right from wrong, that when she says a bad word on accident after spilling a whole bowl of cherrios that the childs first word will be that bad word. There is a book out call the "Mommy Wars" I know from expierence that neither one of these women have it easy. No one is better than the other because they both are trying so hard to love and do what it best for that child. Last night as I lay there thinking and thinking, I just couldnt help but ask God again for that peace that passes all understanding.