On My Mind

Well Chloe is 3 weeks old as of Thursday at 5:05 and I cant believe it has already been three weeks. I think about it now and since I was induced at 38 weeks at the time it seemed like pregnancy was never going to end and since my doctor was merciful he went ahead and let me have her (knowing all was well) but now here we are and I have a three week old baby. Jeremy and I just weighed her on our scale because we are convinced that she is alot heavier and she eats like a champ and she was 8.5 lbs according to that. So if I would have carried her full term she could have been 8 lbs solid...thank God for potocin, but also I wonder if I would have had her on time or if I would still be pregnant. First my fear was having her to early and then my fear was her never coming out! Now I look over at her and her daddy (the twins) and what a beautiful little family I have. Thank you God for my beautiful husband and baby. Funny thing...it is like having two of the same thing since they look so much alike. Her hair is lightening sometime, so there are times when I think she may have gotten a little Etheredge through my brother who is a blonde with a red goatee, but then Jeremy told me his brother was blonde when he was a baby and now he is an auburn...so maybe it is just another meeks trait coming out. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but for all the work I did carry this cute thing around for nine months you would think that it would look like me a little...maybe it will be in her precious personality:)
Ok enough about baby, here are other things on my mind besides baby...I hate it that people disappoint you in life, and ironically I am half mad at myself. In life you arent perfect, you make mistakes, you try to learn from those and move on. I guess you just expect people to understand that you are only human. I say this for a reason. There was a particular person in my life at a prior job, she was a great friend and I loved her dearly. When I left my job it was not on the best terms and apparantly I hurt this person. I didnt realize it at the time, but I guess I hurt her pretty bad. She has not called me or checked on the baby and I guess she is one of the few people at that job that I would have loved to show her off to, but apparantly I messed up to bad. I just disappoints me in myself and in the fact that she cant forgive a decision that was best for me and for my family. If it was something else I hate that too. I just wish she valued our friendship enough to talk to me instead of shutting me out. I am human I make mistakes.
I am also thinking about our jobs (mine and Jeremy) maybe there is somewhere else we are supposed to be...well atleast Jeremy. Lord knows he is our provider. I want him to have to best career opportunities and I dont want the city we live in to hold him back. I pray that we are where God wants us to be financially and spiritually. We have worked hard to have a God centerd marriage. We got married three years ago when we were in school and we probably should have waited because it took us some time to figure out what true selflessness was. I think after meeting Chloe we are REALLY understanding. Anyways, this are just random thoughts thrown out to all who read this shabby little blog.