Under Pressure

You know that song. I love it. I mean I love the beat and all of that. When it comes on the radio in the car I cant help but bob my head along with it. Just because I love the song doenst mean I like the way it feels to be "under pressure."

Things with Tucker seem good. No huge changes and we are still planning on him at the beginning of August. Chloe is excited to have him here, but I think I am allowing other things to steal my joy of this fun time. We STILL havent sold the house. I understand all the "facts", we arent selling in a "desireable" price range, it is big and the market is so slow here, but that doesnt mean that I am happy about it. A few months ago when we had the FULL PRICE OFFER in one week after it was on the market, and then it all fell through 4 days before our move, we just felt like we were making the right decision. Surely the house will sell so quickly. It is a great house, with great charm and character. If someone would have told me this is where we would be, I would do everything differently. And I HATE THAT!

I think of myself as pretty business savy, smart, and I am not a risk taker at all. I let myself take a risk that I now regret and because of this one thing I cant let myself enjoy anything else. I stress over budgets and bills. I am angry that is cost so stinking much to have a baby and annoyed that I have to pay an extra $350 for him to be circumcised. I want to decorate his room (or atleast start) yet I will not let myself spend the money and that is frustrating.

Please excuse the vent...I know that there are greater, much more sad things going on in the world, but today I had to get it off my chest. No cutsie, smushy "the baby is coming" blog. There are just alot of things out there in my little world that seem to be pressing in and stealing my joy. In Exodus God leads the people through the wilderness, He parts the red sea, yet when they are standing needing a drink of fresh water and all there is, is a bitter drink, they get mad and forget what he had done for them. Maybe this is what I am doing- NO! This is what I am doing. I am allowing Satan to push me to be mad, and steal my joy- forgetting all the time what God has done for me and my little family, and that he has always provided. I guess I will work on finding the joy in the small things until the big things are under control!